50 harmless priest jokes that will brighten your day (2023)

50 harmless priest jokes that will brighten your day (1)

Messages - Wishes - Quotes

vonJulian Mirer

Religion makes people rigid in exercising their practices and beliefs. However, the leaders of these institutions try to break these norms when they reach out to their community. Priest jokes become therapy for their people as long as they don't offend them.

(Video) 50 Random Acts of Kindness That Will Make You Cry !

50 harmless priest jokes that will brighten your day (2)

Priest jokes are a great way to grab the attention of your followers. The jokes make people laugh and temporarily forget their problems. In addition, priests can use jokes to convey an important lesson. Members easily understand and retain the lesson if they relate it to the joke.

Harmless priest jokes

A priest can crack harmless jokes while teaching serious subjects like religion and life skills. He will crack funny jokes while teaching or preaching without showing any respect to anyone.

A priest and rabbi joke

A retreat with a friendly and cheerful leader is always lively. Members look forward to the services. However, when it comes to priestly words, many people do not forget them. Here is a collection of jokes for a priest, a rabbi, and a minister.

  • A priest says I always split the money in two after the Sunday offering. I draw a line on the floor and throw all the money in the air. Whatever lands on the other side of the line belongs to the Church, and I keep whatever lands on my side.
  • To divide up the Sunday offerings, the pastor says I'll draw a circle and throw the money in the air. What's inside the circle belongs to the church, and what's outside of it is mine.
  • The rabbi says, “I am very transparent. I always take the gift and throw it in the air. God takes what he wants, and what he doesn't want comes back to me.”
  • What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer? Father in law.
  • Why are Catholic priests called fathers? It's too suspicious to call her dad.
  • What do we call a pastry that is a priest or a rabbi? A holy donut.
  • Do you think a donut would ever become a priest? Yes, because it is very porous.
  • After suffering a heart attack, a priest is taken to the hospital. Then he is driven through the hospital on a stretchertwo nurses, he wakes up and asks am I in heaven? One of the nurses replied, "We'll take a shortcut through the children's ward."
(Video) Woman Sleeps With Snake Every Night, Until Doctor Shows Her What's Inside
50 harmless priest jokes that will brighten your day (3)
  • What did the Catholic priest say to the other Catholic priests as they entered the orphanage? Shall we hunt?
  • Three nuns gossip about a priest. The first nun said, "I searched Father's desk and found pornographic magazines in his drawer." The second nun gasped and asked, "What did you do to them?" "I burned them." The second nun said, "I went through dad's drawers and found a box of condoms." The first nun gasped and asked, "What did you do to them?" "I put holes in them." The third nun fainted.
  • Have you heard about the new exorcist movie? The devil came to get the priest out of the child.
  • Do a priest and a watch have something in common? Yes, both start at 12.
  • A priest, a minister and a rabbit entered a blood donation clinic. The nurse asked the rabbit, "What is your blood type?" "Maybe I'm type O," said the rabbit. Oh, the rabbit was a typo.
  • What does a priest do on a salad? salad spray.
  • Which oneDisney-FilmDoes the church let mostly little girls watch? Seven Deadly Sins and Snow White?
  • Does Jesus eat M&Ms? No, because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.
  • A priest asked do the nuns wear bras? no God supports everything.
  • how do we call aMexican fighta priest? In any case, it's an Alien vs Predator.
  • What happened to the guy who had to be exorcised? Well, he couldn't pay the priest, so he was repossessed.
  • A girl goes to the priest for confession and tells him, "Rabbi, I think I'm pregnant." The priest asks sadly, "How did that happen, my child?" The girl replies, "Sir, it must be the Second Coming." Shocked, the pastor asks, "What makes you think that?" She replied, "Because I swallowed the first one."
  • Waskind of meatdoes a priest eat on Fridays? A nun.
  • In the confessional I asked the priest if he thought it would be a good idea to stop masturbating. He replied, sure, if it bothers you, I'll stop.
  • I don't understand why you would become an Islamic fundamentalist suicide bomber to get 72 virgins when you die. Become a Catholic priest and you will get them.
  • My minister is homophobic. He's that man who spends nights on his knees begging another man to come a second time.
  • Why are priests from Finland so good at Mortal Kombat? Because they know their way aroundFinnish hymns.
  • What is the Similarity Between a Catholic Priest and Acne? Both wait until one is 12.
  • Where's the best place to get ice cream? In a Sunday school with a priest.
  • What is the main difference between a rabbi and a priest? A rabbi cuts them off; a priest sucks them off.
50 harmless priest jokes that will brighten your day (4)

Funny Irish priest jokes

Are you looking for the funniest Irish priest jokes? Here are a few of them that are always hilarious.

  • A man walks up to a magician and says, "Can you lift a curse that an Irish priest put on me years ago?" Probably," says the magician, "you canremember the wordsof the curse?” The man replies, “I pronounce you husband and wife.” Forgive me, Father, Priest, Vicar, Father, Minister, for I have synonymousized.
  • An Irish priest, minister and rabbit go to the Red Cross to donate blood. The nurse asks what is your blood type? The rabbit replies, "I'm probably a Type O."
  • My stoner college roommate majors in theology. He is now an Irish priest.
  • One day, while out for a walk, an Irish priest encounters a group of children playing. A child asks, "Father, can we play hide and seek?" The priest replies, "Of course you can, but I must be the one to find you."
  • What is reverse exorcism? It is when the demon banishes the Irish priest from the common victim.
  • An Irish priest driving to New York was pulled over for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath before seeing an empty wine bottle in the car and saying, "Priest, have you been drinking?" "Only water," replied the priest. The policeman said, "Why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and yells, "Jesus Christ! He did it again!"
  • Why are Irish priests called fathers? Because calling her dad sounds suspicious.
  • An Irish priest opened the morning newspaper and was shocked to read his death notice in the obituary column. He quickly called another priest and asked, "Have you seen the newspaper? They say I died!” “Yes, I saw it!” replied his friend. "Are you already in heaven?"
  • A priest walks into a bar and asks for ten shots of the finest single malt Scotch. The Priest likes to take the first shot in line and dump it on the ground. Then he takes the last one and does the same. The bartender asks him, "Why did you do that?" He replied, "The first shot always tastes like crap, and the last one always makes me sick."

A priest walks into a bar jokes

Do priests go to bars too? people likejokerelated to them in the bar, such as the following.

  • A priest walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What can I have for you, Father?" The priest replies, "I would like a glass of your best altar wine, please."
50 harmless priest jokes that will brighten your day (5)
  • A priest walks into a bar, looks at the ugly walls and says to the bartender, "Son, you need to repaint."
  • A priest walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What can I have for you, Father?" The priest says, "Just a glass of iced tea, please. I'm trying to keep the faith."
  • A priest walks into a bar but doesn't realize his cell is too small.
  • A priest walks into a bar and thinks, "Is it set that low?" how he falls.
  • A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. That was just the first guy.
  • A rabbit, a minister and a priest go to a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit, "What have you got?" The rabbit answered. "I don't know. I'm here for autocorrect."
  • A priest, an atheist, and a rabbit walk into a bar. The rabbit says, "Guys, I'm pretty sure I made a typo."
  • A priest, a rabbi, and a chicken walk into a bar. The bartender says, "No! We're not kidding, get out! The chicken says, "Come on guys, I know a place across the street."
  • A priest, a father, a husband and a pedophile walk into a bar. He orders a beer.
  • A priest enters a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, Sir, drinking alone tonight?"
  • A priest, a nun, and a random guy walk into a bar and ask for some coronas, hurricanes, and fireballs. The bartender says, "Unless it's 2020."
  • A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender sees them and yells, "What's the joke?"
(Video) Jack Hibbs: Having a Biblical Worldview | Kirk Cameron on TBN

Religion is not always serious. Harmless priestly jokes and funny Christian jokes amuse the people in the church. The jokes are therapeutic for many who laugh and become attached to the priest's teachings.

Yen.com.ghshared an article about the besthappy birthday dad in heavenquotes. One of the worst and most traumatic experiences is the loss of a loved one, most often a father. However, you can honor him each year with a birthday message.

A birthday is a reminder of the day you came to this earth. It's a time to celebrate the past year while anticipating the new one. If your Father is in heaven, you can share the quotes on your timeline.

Subscribe to watch new videos

(Video) I Survived the World's Quietest Room

Those: YEN.com.gh


(Video) 66 True Paranormal Stories | 04 Hours 12 Mins | Paranormal M

University of Ghana clothing styles maximilian tot Gladys Ritter's wife Brawadis


How do you greet a priest? ›

It can be an opportunity to receive Divine Blessing, for God alone is the source of all blessing. Thus approaching a Priest, we offer our hand to him for the Blessing. Our hands should be held cross-wise, palms upward, right hand over left. We say to him: “Blahoslovy” or “Father, Bless”.

How do you thank a priest after confession? ›

Thank you for confession. Thank you for sitting in an empty confessional for hours hoping someone will walk in to be reunited to God. Thank you for hearing my confession at 7 am because I couldn't be bothered to make it to church during scheduled confessions. Thank you for listening, for never judging.

How do you thank a priest for a blessing? ›

Answer: Thanking a priest with an offer of dinner and/or a gift is certainly thoughtful and recommended. Having dinner is a suitable way to honor a priest and for you and your family to get to know Father better, and he you and your family.

How do you thank a Catholic priest? ›

5 Ways to Let Your Parish Priests Know You Appreciate Them
  1. Pray for Our Priests. The most important thing that we can do for our priests is to pray for them. ...
  2. Attend Mass and Go to Confession. We can go to the Mass that he is celebrating and bring our friends and family. ...
  3. Celebrate His Special Days. ...
  4. Offer to Help. ...
  5. Thank Him.
Nov 1, 2021

What is the wife of a priest called? ›

Presbytera (Greek: πρεσβυτέρα, pronounced presvytéra) is a Greek title of honor that is used to refer to a priest's wife. It is derived from presbyteros—the Greek word for priest (literally, "elder").

Can you call a priest by his first name? ›

Priests are colloquially addressed as "Father" (abbreviated as "Fr.") before either their true name or last name, even their nickname. Reverend Father as a full title is similar to Anglican or Eastern Orthodox usage, in contrast to practice in some other English-speaking nations.

What are words of appreciation to a priest? ›

Thank you for being such a great example of living a life of faith. You're a blessing to our church. Thanks for all the ways you make a difference in our church and community. Thanks for all you do to make our church the encouraging and faith-building place it is!

How do you show appreciation to a priest? ›

If your heart leads you to show gratitude on this day, honor your pastor with words, acts or gifts of appreciation like the ones listed below.
Aug 16, 2019

How do you show respect to a priest? ›

Ways to Support Your Parish Priest
  1. Pray. Pray a daily Rosary for your parish priest and encourage others to pray with you. ...
  2. Live in Unity. ...
  3. Manage Your Expectations. ...
  4. Avoid Gossip. ...
  5. Appreciate Your Priests. ...
  6. Encourage Vocations to the Priesthood and Consecrated Life. ...
  7. Support the Archbishop-Be Obedient.

What are the best appreciation words? ›

When you're feeling a deep appreciation for those who have made a difference in your life, use these phrases to show your gratitude:
  • I appreciate you!
  • You are the best.
  • I appreciate your help so much.
  • I wanted to thank you for your help.
  • I value the help you've given me.
  • I am so thankful for you in my life.
Aug 3, 2022

What are some encouraging words for a pastor? ›

Heralding the gloriously good news of the gospel is worth it. “You've helped deepen my love of Scripture.” We're not in the pulpit to pontificate on our ideas, but to proclaim Christ and Him crucified. “I love you.” Three simple words that make everything we do worth it.

How do you say thank you in a godly way? ›

Christian 'Thank You' Messages
  1. "I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers." — ...
  2. "I always thank God for you because of His grace given you in Christ Jesus." — ...
  3. "There is no fear in love: Perfect love casts out fear." — ...
  4. "But thanks to God who gives us victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." —
Aug 19, 2022

What do you say when the priest gives you bread? ›

The correct response is simply "Amen. No other response should be said. The Priest/Eucharistic minister will then place the Host on your open palm. Do not attempt to grab the Host from the minister with your fingers.

Do priests need real friends too? ›

Priests are brothers to the laity, and they are also fellow companions on the journey to holiness. They too are human; they not only need support and prayers from the lay faithful, they also need friends.

How do you say thank you meaningfully? ›

  1. Thank you again, I really appreciate working with you.
  2. Even though I may not say it all the time, I appreciate all you do.
  3. Thank you again for your support, it made a real difference for me.
  4. Thank you for all that you do.
  5. Thank you!
Nov 17, 2021

Which priest Cannot marry? ›

The Catholic, Eastern Orthodox and Oriental Orthodox churches, in general, rule out ordination of married men to the episcopate, and marriage after priestly ordination. Throughout the Catholic Church, East as well as West, a priest may not marry.

What is a priests bedroom called? ›

A sacristy is sometimes called a vestry, although this is more typically used for the room where priests change into their vestments, or the special robes they wear during church services. And while robes might be stored in a vestry, most other holy objects are kept in the sacristy.

What is it called when a priest has a child? ›

Children of the ordained is a term the Vatican uses to describe the offspring of ordained Catholic priests who have taken a vow of clerical celibacy. The children are a "result of affairs involving priests and laywomen or nuns – others of abuse or rape".

What does STD mean for a priest? ›

Doctorate in Sacred Theology (S.T.D.)

What is STD after a priest name? ›

The S.T.D. is the culminating step in the three-degree ecclesiastical program, which starts with the Bachelor of Sacred Theology (S.T.B.), progresses to the Licentiate in Sacred Theology (S.T.L.), and ends with the successful completion of the S.T.D.

What are the three things that priests are called to do? ›

These three duties of the priest — which Tradition has identified in the Lord's different words about mission: teaching, sanctifying and governing — in their difference and in their deep unity are a specification of this effective representation.

How do you express gratitude to a pastor? ›

Eight Simple Ways to Express Appreciation for Your Pastor
  1. Pray for them, and then let them know. ...
  2. Give them a gift card. ...
  3. Help build their library of resources. ...
  4. Share a meal. ...
  5. Get creative and add a personal touch. ...
  6. Say “thank you” during the service. ...
  7. Lend a helping hand. ...
  8. Appreciate them all year long!
Oct 12, 2016

How do you honor your pastor with words? ›

4 Ways to Honor Pastors
  1. WE HONOR OUR PASTORS BY SUPPORTING THEM. The elders who are good leaders should be considered worthy of an ample honorarium, especially those who work hard at preaching and teaching. ...
Oct 6, 2014

How do you encourage a priest? ›

Send him a brief email with an encouraging word of how much you appreciate him and his leadership during this time. Include a promise or uplifting passage of Scripture. Better yet, take the time to write him a note.

How do you write a heartfelt appreciation message? ›

Simple Thanks
  1. “Thanks for doing what you do!”
  2. “You are appreciated for all you do. ...
  3. “The work you do is important and so appreciated.”
  4. “Sending a little heartfelt appreciation your way today!”
  5. “Just wanted to express our deep gratitude for the dedicated work you do day after day.”
Feb 23, 2022

What is the most common way to express appreciation? ›

7 Ways to Express Thanks and Gratitude to Friends, Teachers, and Parents
  • Say the words! ...
  • Write a gratitude letter or note. ...
  • Show gratitude through creative expression. ...
  • Give a gratitude gift. ...
  • Express your appreciation face to face with a gratitude visit. ...
  • Ask how they are (and listen to their response!)
Apr 9, 2019

What are 5 ways to show respect? ›

Make professionalism a habit and demonstrate respect with these simple, yet powerful actions:
  1. Say something. ...
  2. Smile. ...
  3. Say “thank you.” It may seem like common sense, but many people forget to say thank you or don't say it with sincerity. ...
  4. Be considerate and discreet. ...
  5. Apologize. ...
  6. Participate constructively.
Feb 17, 2017

What are the 7 ways to be respectful? ›

7 Ways to Be Respectful (And a One-Step Trick to Getting More Respect From Others)
  • Listen and be present. ...
  • Be thoughtful of others' feelings. ...
  • Acknowledge others and say thank you. ...
  • Address mistakes with kindness. ...
  • Make decisions based on what's right, not who you like. ...
  • Respect physical boundaries. ...
  • Live and let live.
Oct 18, 2019

What are 4 ways to show respect? ›

Main body
  • Be kind and courteous.
  • Be polite, avoid interrupting or causing disturbances.
  • Listen to others and respect differences in beliefs and opinions.
  • Think before you speak, your language and tone.
  • Lend a helping hand or ear and practice compassion.

What do you address a priest as? ›

It is always acceptable to use the appropriate Christian name in place of initials (for example, the Revd Alice Smith). In the absence of any style or title conferred by a post, all deacons and priests are styled 'The Reverend', and all who have been consecrated bishop are styled 'The Right Reverend'.

Do you address a priest first or last name? ›

______________. Many priests are perfectly fine in being addressed, by adults, by his or her Christian (given, first) name. Some priests wish to be called Reverend, followed by a first or last name. This depends upon the priest and the culture of that particular parish or diocese (church region, under a bishop).

How do you acknowledge a priest? ›

Appreciate Your Priests

We all need positive encouragement and priests need affirmation too. Tell your priest when you enjoy a homily. Thank him for bringing Jesus to you. Drop him a note or card to thank him for his dedication to the Lord and the Catholic Church.

How do you greet a Catholic priest in English? ›

The salutation should be Dear Father. To be even more polite, refer to a priest as His Reverence. If it's a very formal letter, say, "The Reverend Father last name as the salutation or Dear Reverend Father."

What do you call a retired priest? ›

Although a priest may retire from administrative duties and from the demands of a full-time assignment, such as a parish pastor or administrator, he continues the lifelong priestly ministry to which he dedicated himself at ordination. For this reason, a man in this status is referred to as an emeritus priest.

What do priests call themselves? ›

Aside from the name itself, priests are referred to as father for multiple reasons: as a sign of respect and because they act as spiritual leaders in our lives. As the head of a parish, each priest assumes the spiritual care of his congregation.

What are priest students called? ›

The student priests, known as seminarians, believe they are answering God's calling in dedicating their lives to the work of the Church.

Is A Monsignor higher than a priest? ›

“Monsignor” is a title bestowed on a priest who has distinguished himself by exceptional service to the church. It is a title granted by the pope — typically, upon the recommendation of the priest's diocesan bishop. It is a purely honorary title and has no effect on the priest's duties or ministerial assignment.

Do priests pick their names? ›

They are not ordained by name, and they keep their baptismal, Christian names; from ancient times, what they customarily receive is a new title, symbolizing their new dignity: “Father.” Priests are addressed as “Father” because the Sacrament of Holy Orders bestows upon them a new, permanent character by which they are ...

What does PC mean for priests? ›

Monsignors of the Roman Catholic Church have three ranks which are: 1. Papal Chaplain (P.C.), - the lowest rank of a monsignor.

How do you make a priest happy? ›

A new survey shows priests are happy in their vocation but struggle with burnout. Here's how you can help.
  1. Stop and chat with him after Mass. ...
  2. Ask him out for coffee or tea. ...
  3. Invite him for a family dinner. ...
  4. Include him in a party or event. ...
  5. Invite him as a guest to a sports game, concert, play, etc.
Oct 26, 2022

What do you say to a pastor for appreciation? ›

May you never lack help in time of need.
  • Thank you pastor for your compassion and empathy, willingly given in my times of need. ...
  • Thank you so much for all that you do. ...
  • Thanks for being a fabulous preacher. ...
  • Thanks for you all you do! ...
  • We thank you for your endurance as our spiritual leader! ...
  • You are the best pastor ever.
Jul 4, 2022

Do you kiss a bishops ring? ›

Custom prescribed that a layman or a cleric of inferior grade on being presented to a bishop should kiss his hand (called baciamano in Italian), which is to say, an obligation to kiss the episcopal ring.

What do you call a Catholic priest? ›

A priest of the regular clergy is commonly addressed with the title "Father" (contracted to Fr, in the Catholic and some other Christian churches). Catholics living a consecrated life or monasticism include both the ordained and unordained.

What is it called when priests talk? ›

In Catholic, Anglican, Lutheran, and Eastern Orthodox churches, a homily is usually given during Mass (Divine Liturgy or Holy Qurbana for Orthodox and Eastern Catholic Churches, and Divine Service for the Lutheran Church) at the end of the Liturgy of the Word. Many people consider it synonymous with a sermon.


1. George Carlin - List of people who ought to be killed
(Curious George)
2. I Found 50 iPhones, 17 Guns, 15 GoPros and 22 Wedding Rings Underwater! (Road to 10 Million)
3. THEY NEVER SAW IT COMING! 14 Most Unexpected Auditions That SHOCKED The Judges on AGT and BGT
(Talent Recap)
4. Prayers that Rout Demons by John Eckhardt w/ softer background music
(A Prophet's Reward)
5. On the traces of an Ancient Civilization? 🗿 What if we have been mistaken on our past?
(Boxoffice | Full Movies in English)
6. I Spent 50 Days in Skyrim Legendary Survival
Top Articles
Latest Posts
Article information

Author: Rev. Porsche Oberbrunner

Last Updated: 01/20/2023

Views: 5819

Rating: 4.2 / 5 (73 voted)

Reviews: 88% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Rev. Porsche Oberbrunner

Birthday: 1994-06-25

Address: Suite 153 582 Lubowitz Walks, Port Alfredoborough, IN 72879-2838

Phone: +128413562823324

Job: IT Strategist

Hobby: Video gaming, Basketball, Web surfing, Book restoration, Jogging, Shooting, Fishing

Introduction: My name is Rev. Porsche Oberbrunner, I am a zany, graceful, talented, witty, determined, shiny, enchanting person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.